Honestly after all that has happened, I definitely do need a form of release, some sort of outlet to all the emotions I have bottled up inside me.

Somehow, surprisingly, I am not as affected as I thought I would be. Not that I don't tear through some nights hoping things hadn't turned out the way they did, then again I'm not one to have the best control of my emotions. I guess after all these years of losing people who mean so much to me, and hating them for leaving me when I'm in my most susceptible state, I've realised that building up negative emotions against them isn't going to help any situation. I've learnt to cherish the wonderful moments that were, and instead of mourning the loss of moments that are yet to be, to love the people who had given me great memories to live by.

It's always been my belief that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes this reason is to warn me of my crippling inability to sustain a friendship like a normal person.

But life still goes on doesn't it? As much as I would like to turn back the clock (just as I'd always wished), it is impossible for me to keep wallowing in self-pity. Every such incident has only served to make me stronger, wiser and hopefully more mature. For now I'd just like to pray that history doesn't repeat itself, and express my gratitude to people who stick by me when I need them most. Thanks for not giving up on me. :)