come to think of it

the way i must have sounded when i talked to priscilla
the way im like bloody lousy
the things i made you say
the ridiculous crap stuffs i did last year last last year (and this year)
the things that only happen to me
the stupid way i look at people and smirk
the words i should have never said
the way my mood swings and how emotional i get

i suck. u can just tell me that

crying lets others in on your weakness

but i practiced like so stupidly hard for 4 bars (ITS ONLY 4 BARS) and of all the times i had to screw up during combines. did i really sound that bad? mrng probably thinks that ruidi just played on the spot and thus isnt very sure of the intonation or notes or something but ive heard him practice all the solos so many times, including mine (or at least what WAS mine) urgh i feel so lousy. i cant even play 4 bars well how am i supposed to be a senior? but i guess mrng has just given up on me. there's always ruidi and evon. :/ i want to prove myself so badly omfg. why do i keep screwing up whenever mrng is around?? i played bc con like damn terribly today. tears affect intonation dude. i just couldnt get in tune even in parts i could tune before. saga was worse. i was sitting in between 2 blasters -.- who just blasted their notes like theres no tomorrow. cw was like super flat and when i told him he went super sharp. uhm :/ poema was. i dont understand. do i really play worse than him? he wasnt even playing in tuneeeeeeeeee and he wasnt even playing with simin. individualist. ya but maybe being an individualist isnt that bad afterall. i mean just look at the 2 MOSTINDIVIDUALISTIC ppl in my section. im going to trash him. serious.